So she started giving everyone lap dances, and i was like "i think i like this chick"
He can hate all he wants but were fucking with these crocs on
His hospital is closing...I consider it "sorry you're losing your job" sex.
So currently I have a block of cheese duct taped to my air conditioner in lieu of a fridge.
Sorry for scaring your son with my drunken animal impressions
i just successfully used the word "hymen" in a paper...welcome to senior seminar in lit.
I'm not going to need your "it doesn't mean you're a slut" pep talk after all.
Also, new rule: You are no longer allowed to send me a text with the word "dildo" in it before 10am.
My absolute favorite part of last night was after I puked in the ally, we rounded the corner and you screamed, "she's ok!" and everyone cheered
if girls can go out in miniskirts and reveal their thongs, I should be able to wear a sheer dress with boyshorts with the word love bedazzled on my ass.
This is why you're my favorite.
Have you ever realized how cool bread is? Like so many things taste good on it. Like its crazy to think that peanut butter and turkey can both taste good on the same thing.
Church parking lot, park bench, front porch. I think she's more comfortable going down on me in public. May have found the one.
30-degree weather + Metal Cockring Monday = really hard to pee.
Its only once in a life time you get to pick your vcard swiper up from jail
By the time we got to McDonald's you were sharing a Big Mac with a stripper.
Randomize
