We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
But he was like 75 and lives right near mom and dad. Not a threat at all.
i finally understand why guys leave in the middle of the night.......they got it right
Just left a map of the Aleutian islands on this Eskimo girls face. Check one off my Alaska to do list.
Spotted at kelly concert- 10 year old in a homemade "I do not hook up" t shirt. Well I should certainly hope not, sweetheart.
I saw a girl walking around campus with bandages on both her knees. I need to get her number.
There are some college kids out at 4 in the morning dragging each other on a sled behind a bike. its too entertaining to call the cops
I wasn't sure if "you're even prettier in the dark" was a compliment. Hmm.
And then I learned that we are dating when I said it's out of line to bring fuck buddies home to meet the parents. And then I was single.
Fuck you, jack daniels. I feel like satan laid an egg in my brain.
I am wrecking havoc on the skinny girls by going home with the big one. She is taking me to see her dog now.
Im coming down to miami this weekend
We shall drink from the everclear river
Learn from me. When going to a booty call do not wear a belly shirt. Nothing says shame like a belly shirt at 7am.
Things you do not want to hear after sex: I almost lost my gum in your pussy. Really dude, don't share that with me!
Maybe don't sell him so much adderall next time. The other day during finals he was convinced that he could see the "molecules of life in the air" and kept reaching up slowly to grab them.
Should I be concerned that the new guy I'm seeing just referred to my stealing a sailboat in college while drunk as "wholesome"?
Randomize
