Jake died.
WTF????????? That's how you tell me????
Oops typo. Jake cried.
Remind me if I threw up on you last night or if that was just a dream.
Close your eyes and stop texting and think about puppies. You'll be fine.
Chick in class has 69 tattooed on the back of her neck. Target acquired.
Apparently he's into classy girls that wear sweaters and don't throw up on him when they go out.
When the shrooms kicked in we both simultaneously realized we were not the right puzzle piece for the dubstep puzzle.
We made eye contact and were like we are not welcome here, the ravers are onto us and we need to get the fuck out before we get shuffled upon
It is way too early in the summer for me to be coming into work still drunk.
It's like, "you literally have no idea who i am but i definitely slept with your brother in your bed."
Remember that time you puked in a beer pong cup while someone else was playing?
that happened
him crossdressing on the weekends is awkward but not a deal breaker for me.
I just got hit with cramps and found a mystery pill. I'm gonna stay put for an hour and at least see what happens.
I've made a single handle of rum last like three weeks and my mom hasn't even acknowledged it.
I woke up in the middle of the night with my dick out and my electric blanket on high. It's like she wanted a hot dog.
well it was naive of you to actually think you're the only bday sex he had lined up for him today. I'm just suprised he actually had a line forming outside of his room
Do you know how hard it is to have sex on an air matress while there are people sleeping in the same room?!?!?
Randomize