"auto-tuned camel" is how i'd describe the noises she made
My dad just came home, said hi to mom and me in the kitchen, and then said "I'm gonna go inject my blood with iguana saliva".
he's from indiana, of course he's clueless about "g-spots"
Sorry I kept grabbing your vagina at the casino. I believed it was my lucky unicorn to win bonuses
next time we drink: battle shots.
battle shots or battle shits? if its the first, explain. if its the second I think I figured it out.
I will always remember that night by waking up in that tablecloth the next morning
I sent him an 18 page sext. He's going to have a good morning.
I drank toilet water last night, I can't answer you because my phone is in rice.
So what's going on?
We hit boys town to get stupid. I mean invading Iraq stupid.
She found the planted magnum condom..once she figured it out it was too late.
These beer shits have taken over my entire life.
You asked to borrow my glasses for a moment. Then you whipped them at someone's head.
Currently googling hangover cures, which looks a lot like working from the perspective of my boss.
So I crawled off the trampoline to puke in the neighbors yard. Wonderful house guest right here
I woke up with a treasure map drawn on my ass. Whattt.
Randomize
