I think any school that has COCKS written on it's baseball hats has their priorities straight.
Next time we throw a party together I would appreciate it if you didn't try to get my friends to hook up with friends of yours you know have herpes
There's never a time that i stay at this apartment that when i wake up in the morning and sit outside to smoke a cigarette that i don't feel ashamed of myself.
Theres a freshman smoking a pipe on campus. This new class is setting a new standard we're not ready for
I think Vodka is my favorite. Everything else ties for second.
I'll always remember 2012 as the year I hooked up with countless girls who had the sides of their heads shaved.
I found my keys in the basement freezer. Drunk me is a sneaky little bastard.
Dude a gay guy just Sparta kicked this Samoan guy for calling him a flamer you need to get down here the free kamakazee shots haven't even started yet
I understand, but unless there is an intervention for me being planned, i DON NOT want to talk about my life choices
Next year for Halloween you can be the sword swallower, with a penis shaped sword.
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a taco... I feel like a female Elvis.
I realize my mistake but don't you dare school me in cock, young man
I'm high on the exercise bike at the gym. I feel like Lance Armstrong
Why are we so out going and care free I can't wait for maturity to kick in so we stop having 700 dollar bar tabs
Wearing panties to a party gives you a whole new perspective on life.
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