So I have to go swallow an entire zebra. Ur on ur own girl.
How was your sisters wedding?
Oh, I didn't go. I slept through my alarm. I finally woke up and was like...I don't think so.
sisterhood ftl.
As a matter of fact you told me i fulfilled your "woodshop teacher fantasy"
Yeah he gave the rest of the brownies to the bouncer that took his fake
I'm watching people hook up tonight who, when they wake up tomorrow, are going to wish they were blind.
styled my pubes into a mustache as a surprise. Thought you should know
All I could think about while he was going down on me was that his moustache reminded me that I want to try something new with my pubic hair.
I finally got out of bed at 8:30pm and my little brother informed me that I had cereal stuck to my back. I'm going to smoke a cigarette and go back to sleep.
Just had a guy try to pull the maraca out of my shirt with his teeth... Wtf
If you get laid dressed as my dad that makes me extremely uncomfortable
I am naked and annoyed.
And I got shut down by a ginger. It was a weird night
She forgot a bra so she just used seran wrap. The scary thing is, it worked.
Just woke up with only a scarf and my uggs on. i hate partying naked in winter.
Yeahh. im on the phone with him drunk. he told me he found a pigeon in a cardboard box and named it quincy...
Randomize
