Dude she has a bf and shes on lockdown more than Nelson Mandela in 95
Dude you spent the last hour of the night in the bathroom crying, asking someone why you will never be as smart as Mr.Feeney from boy meets world.
okay I may or may not have wrapped my body pillow up in your t-shirt and sprayed it with your axe and am now spooning with it.
again? I'm starting to get a little creeped out now.
if my spotter knew I was listening to the Wicked soundtrack on my iPod, I wouldn't even be mad if he dropped the barbell on my throat
I don't know what he sees in her. All I see are horrible pancake nipples
Watching crazy stupid love and drinking alone isn't what I thought it was gonna be
Its TONS better. Expect a drunk dial at 11:54
as soon as I stop standing here with one leg up on my bathroom counter admiring my balls, I'm going to go tan. and then you may come over.
I thought i lost my bra, but when i went back to help clean it was hanging up on the wall
I found his Linkedin the day after he created it. Too stalkerish or just right?
I got high with the cantor. Rethinking this whole non-practicing Jew thing.
Let us bow our heads and pray that I don't throw up in the tub
So I had sex in the woods today. Anything else that happened today? Irrelevant. It was a GOOD day.
I put a zucchini in my pussy for you
U know this is gone far when im in the bathroom trying to take a pic of my asshole
uh why is my bathtub filled with kool aid? or is that blood?
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