butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
Its about making memories worth repressing
This concert is like a reunion of all my bad sex.
yes he's amazing in bed. he made me like, black out. everything went black it was weird. so yes, i'd fuck him again. plus, he has every season of buffy on dvd
Woke up with string cheese braided into my hair- literally braided
I cagt a turtle and named him squirt. He's in my bathtub Caleb is feeding me peaches! This is the most beautiful vodka Thursday ever!
Just had a flashback of dry humping a man lying in the street while Jim (dressed as santa) screams 'HAVE YOU BEEN A GOOD BOY?!'
We're drinking vodka. Wine is for people who have to wake up in the morning.
Walk of shaming dressed as a zombie hunter. This hangover feels like the actual apocalypse.
Concert was great. Tackled the lead singer. Met him afterwards. He was cool about it.
Just got escorted to my 7:45 class by an old woman because I was too hungover to not realize I was four floors too high.
I HAVE NEVER BEEN FRIENDZONED IN MY LIFE AND THIS GIRL IS GOING TO MAKE ME QUESTION EVERYTHING. LIKE A GODDAMN CUNT. A WONDERFUL, BEAUTIFUL, MAJESTIC, LESBIAN CUNT.
When we were done he got down next to the bed and I thought he was Tebowing. He was hitting a bong that he had already loaded and hidden under the bed.
I think snapchat is trying to tell you something. It's saying your boobs were meant to be seen by his family.
I sleep better at night when I win things. I never really weep for others.
Randomize
