oh my god, i just wanna eat cake off your dick
worst night to have a conscience
how can i incorporate a boy scout uniform into what i do tonight?
it took you forty minutes to realize it was a gay bar.
I know. He gave me a hug and i was like jesus i can just feel the std through your sweatshirt
Did I change midway through last night?
Seven times. The most notable outfits were UFC Fighter and Top Hat Viking
An don't say it's "personal preference" cause I don't buy it. I just want to have normal cool guy balls. I don't want to be the dude that's still rocking the equivalent of the "mid 90's bowl cut" of scrotum haircuts.
It turned from Netflix and chill to cringeworthy YouTube videos and chill. At least he's honest.
I just set up a proportion to calculate how much Jolly Rancher vodka I can make with the limited amount of Jolly Ranchers I have. Finally, real-life application of math.
I checked her ID this morning. Lets just say...she's older than my mom
so, i take that as a legit invitation into his pants
So you're saying that I ended up challenging a dude to Uno then proceed to punch them in the face?
I was just in the bathroom and some guy yelled all hail the king... i cant go anywhere without getting recognized anymore.
I dropped my slice of pineapple on the kitchen floor and was just staring at it about to cry. It was really good pineapple.
Also, in case they didn’t tell you… there is a chicken living in your old room… so I would assume cleaning that is now on them
Randomize
