The only reason why I invited him to my party was because he is suicidal.
I love the progression of these pictures. I go from cute to Courtney Love
Tonight we are playing Scuba-Keg. Getting keg now. I'll explain when i get home.
Coming home soaking wet at three am and trying to convince the front desk man that we came from the library might have worked if I wasn't also roaring at everything.
I held a cracker & gaterade down for an hour. I feel like this will be my greatest accomplishment of the day.
I'm practically paying him in tacos to have sex with me.
Skip school. Seven hour blow job Plus Disney movies. Day of champions
Remember when we saw my neighbor taking dick pics of himself? He's back at it!
I need to find another hobby that doesn't include being hungover.
Im wearing a bra. Made of paint.
Then I did coke with my taxi driver where he then ended up paying me for the drive. You should try being a girl sometime it's super sick.
His name isnt in my phone as “Satan’s spawn” for no reason. #devildick
She was sitting on the couch in his tux jacket...no pants, eating cold vegetable lasagna. Yet I'm the weirdo?
It started off with wine and ended up with me in only my pearls and heels. It was about the classiest sexual experience I've ever had.
I remember you banged her while I was dying on your couch, so good call
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