The funny thing is... I'm about to go to the store to buy WD-40 and condoms... That's it.
And before you ask they are unrelated purchases.
i just walked into a room at this party and someone yelled "dibs!"...
it's a girl!!
That's great, I look forward to meeting her in 18 years
making cat noises will not fix the situation.
Don't park in the garage. I installed a stripper pole while drunk and it's kinda in the way
Mmmhmmm sure, nice try, but there's certain wounds that only bj's can heal
i don't know what happened by from the looks of her lipstick I'd say she was skull fucked by a rhino
I mean two cocks this time. Trust me, I'm not gonna pull the same stunts as last time in this situation
Out of everyone here, the sober one caught the cat on fire.
Living a little to me does not involve choreographed Michael Jackson songs
is it weird that our first time having sex was makeup sex?
It is NEVER not funny to me when I am sitting at a table and I've touched the dicks of every single person I'm sitting with.
my dad walked in on me peeing into the trashcan in our kitchen last night at like 2am. wtf
What did you give up for lent?
Diet and excersize. And I'm never going back...
I'm going to blackout. I realize this
Randomize
