i may or may not be hanging out with a boxer who has a daughter tonight. and he just spelled "honestly" like "onistly". He has prob taken a few too many hits to the head but he's hot at least.
I could swear I did coke with Jesus last night
Slept on the counter again. Mom covered me in an apron.
I actually enjoy jerking off to her facebook more than I enjoy actually fucking her. Just something with our generation
There are work activities and non work activities and dunking my head in a bucket of ice water pulling it out and shotguning a beer is certainly not a work activity
I feel like I'm full of double a batteries and cocaine.
Ugh why does it have to be margarita Monday. Why can't it be pants off dance off beer pong but with jager Monday.
Peed in a sink tonight. That drunk. I'm not proud of myself for what I did. But to carry it out with such class. I should be awarded
I come back upstairs and she's leaning over sink full of vomit saying 'oh my god it's the chili'
He brought wine and beer. I'll put my pants on for wine and beer.
You know when you meet a penis that looks like it was made out of all your hopes and dreams?
He's getting me an energy drink and said good morning beautiful. He must sense i'm cutting him off from the sex.
You came running into my room at 4 in the morning yelling "SANCTUARY!" and flung yourself into bed.
Hmmm, sounds like a Jaeger night then. Did I at least get to be the little spoon?
i keep replaying things i did last night. and remembering new things. and its a constant cycle of torture
I just had sex in the footy bunny pajamas my mom bought me for christmas. Tis the season
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