addddeeerrraaaallll.
ok i'm not sure if that was a success statement or a cry for help.
omg, he ripped it...he ripped my vagina...best. night. ever.
I had a talk with my mom about respecting myself and not acting like a whore so she will rip my nose ring out if she somehow sees that picture
The duggars are the reason premarital sex is ok. Because if you don't have it until marriage you have no self control when it happens. And 19 kids.
New realization: eye makeup remover takes sharpie off boobs
Awww. A guy on the train just took his coat off so his girlfriend could throw up into it. Who says chivalry is dead?
He was dressed in a pink dressing gown feeding people ketamine from a plastic sword he called Excalibur. how was your Monday?
Made fish tank punch. It's like trash can punch but in a fish tank. Also, my dad saw a picture I uploaded on Facebook and called me a pussy for only making 10 gallons.
Hit a new low. I'm FB stalking him while he is lying in bed sleeping naked next to me. He fell asleep with FB still open and unlocked on his iPad.
thanks for piggy backing me around for the rest of the night when I got too drunk to stand.
It's 4 am here and I just vomited myself awake....Not rising OR shining any time soon
My horseshoe mustache feels at home at this bar.
he kept insisting he didn't have my number, so i called his phone and my number came up as "yeaaaaaaaaah!"
She has also never texted me first which I think might be a tell-tale sign she wants me to die alone.
He was simultaneously rubbing my shoulders and fucking me. I'm keeping him.
Randomize
