Dude go to the top of pikes peak right now to catch Kevin Bacon's band performing
The bacon? Yeah right. What if there's Tremors?
Him and Burt have already taken care of that. It's a once in a lifetime chance to catch the Bacon brothers live in concert. I sort of have a boner
our drinking schedule never changed, we just drank at work.
When I told my boss I'm using a vacation day for 4/20, he gave me his personal cell phone number and winked at me.
you make it seem like sunflower seeds and pinot grigio are not in the food pyramid.
No, I don't not want an upside down piggyback ride. You're drunk and there are rocks.
I'm not liking this ratio of moving to blowjobs...
no dude I'm not doing anything bad to her...remember she's always the DD she has blackmail material on literally all of us
Then you better bring Starbucks and a box of condoms in the morning.
Oh shit. This is getting real.
I am officially now FB friends with my arresting officer.
Biggg time. I found 2 empty packages of extenze in my car this am.... not sure what that was all about
sweating bourbon at client mtg -- you?
I'll tell you that it involved a pair of pliers and a trip to the ER.
I demand a full explanation right now.
so like
i may have gotten a little bit of blood in the charging port of my phone
i spent most of last night convincing myself that dan akroyd wasn't actually standing in my bathroom holding a dead chicken
I think someone shaved off all their pubes in the handicap stall or a werewolf stopped by the office to take a crAzy dump!
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