How long until YT realizes that it's a man?
btw ... thanks for not giving me up as the craigslist killer
i owe you one
thanks for snagging those panties for me
woke up in a freezing tub of water at 6 am again. probably should stop the drunk baths
She had to leave early so she could get ready for her high school's homecoming. I hope her date likes sloppy seconds.
I think the duck is in my room. You have no idea how much worse a duck makes a hangover
She wont be able to take it all. I'll use a shoe horn to get it in if I have to.
There needs to be a crayon color for how blue my balls are
Thanks for the morning blowjob. Scientifically proven you can't have a bad day if it starts with a blowjob.
I'm ashamed and embarrassed. Unless we get drunk and have random sex with people we will never see again we might lose ourselves.
"I made out with someone too, but then he tried to fuck and I played dead"
Do you think they'll deliver pizza to my mouth
Alcohol won't break your heart. I mean, unless it's all gone maybe
I'm determining which apartments I'm mostly to move into based on how suitable the kitchens are for sex .
He said 'I really struggle with the sin of lust' then we proceeded to have sex. So I guess it was a perfectly executed Catholic pick up line?
like I'd leave you in a situation like that..pfft. what kinda friend do you think I am?
...a stoned one.
Randomize
