Even my Mr Clean Magic Eraser can't make last night disappear.
chris hansen is no longer pursuing child predators.let's celebrate
i'll bring the hard lemonade and lube
Do you have a shampoo for semen
Or a time machine
She has an incinerator in her basement. Have you ever incinerated used condoms?
Lmao what?
It's a yes or no question.
I just heard a guy scream "it must be five o' clock!!" and another guy screamed "somewhere!!!" out from different balconies.
Are you dead or are you taking another 13 hour nap? you need to let me know these things ahead of time so i dont worry.
Yeah go get her. And don't bring her clothes I want her to walk back in her Christmas stocking dress. Take pictures.
I'd rate him "doable" on a scale from "ew, run" to "you should've already fucked him".
That's about an "8" on normal scales.
I'm not wearing a bra, watching Netflix and eating gushers. I don't know a better way to spend a hangover.
I'm ok. I've got the pantsless-with-dignity thing down pat
Its like bringing all that milkshake to the yard and I'm a diabetic and can't have any
okay we need to get tested.
no YOU need to get tested. I'm just going along for the ride.
If you're funny as hell and have a mustache, odds are I'm probably gonna fuck you
He gave me my financial savings if I invested with him while I was giving him a bj.
I went to Christian school in the 90s. I can finger blast anything, but dignity.
Randomize