Hehe I wanna Australian kiss.. Its like a French kiss but down under ;)
I'm thinking of having one or both of my boobs out. They're small but they're mighty.
Like... Chilling at home with a movie, hang out? Or have sexual intercourse in the backseat if his car, hang out?
Woke up with my foot jammed into a VCR
If he can forgive your lousy blowjobs, you can ignore his terrible driving.
Ok, so technically yes she wore a red tank top to the stoplight party. But under it was a yellow bra and green panties.
I'm scared to touch anything in this apartment. Even the ceiling.
I don't think he cares about your inhospitable uterus.
He took a picture of me to show his boss why he was late...Is that a compliment or not?
... Okay, fine. But I don't want to be a better person tonight. I'll be a better person tomorrow.
I think I pulled a boob muscle during phone sex
Blacked out and showed everyone my nudes. They toasted to my nudes, and I got an outstanding ovation.
Do not ever chug tabasco sauce.
Last time he showed up for Christmas he went on and on about backpacking somewhere and getting ghonnorreah twice.
all my friends are getting married and here i am in a committed relationship with rum
Randomize
