Having sex with her is like doing taxes, Happens once a year and I usually end up paying.
No, i know about the eggs and penis, the oh wow was for the fire
So he told me he didn't have a condom, paused, and then said "so, pulling out" and tried to high five me.
It was either a cute kinda butch tomgirl or a really fem guy. Either way, I made out with it. Bisexuality, my best friend.
you woke me up at 7 am banging on my wall.. what the hell
thats the international knock for joint time
I hope your pay increase has gone through because I might need bail. This is not what I dreamed adulthood would be like.
This conversation has now reached a level of awkward that even a passerby streaking hobo couldn't break.
I think we can all agree that the size of her boobs, combined with beer, is destroying my ability to judge looks.
You always seem to be able to bribe me with tequila and Mac and cheese. This relationship of ours will cause me health problems someday.
i just had to pick up my 18 year old cousin from the police station for hosting a party, and i had to do this stoned wow
I just sneeze out a chunk of leftover pickle I threw up last night. dont you try and tell me your day is going worse
You're right. Cause really... I'm in the back of his head. Even though what I said was better than "I have herpes"... I did once say that to him. So I'm like a reoccurring nightmare.
I think after tonight I'm 85% lesbian
I feel like you're the sexual bearcat I've always wanted to be.
My prof handed me back my essay on Lesbians in literature, gave me an A and then we had sex in her office. Told you she was gay.
Randomize
