I need a man. I think Im going to put myself on Craigs list since they caught the killer and all.
Do it and if you add naked pictures youll get an instant reply
Okay, I have a threesome with foreigners and suddenly I'm a man-whore
My facebook horoscope today said I will have a little "confusion". Obviously astrology understands a blackout.
Just come over and take your pants off. 35 mins tops. You'll be home before midnight cinderella
Your dad needs a mid life crisis affair thing, I could totally be that girl.
I can hear her blowing you man. All I hear is her saying 'yeah' over and over again.
It's so hard to find a shirt to wear out that is easily taken off, cut off my paramedics, but says "I'm a grown, respected woman"
Well I'm sleeping with two of them cause they have nice cars. And the third cause she has a big rack. I'm just really waiting for it all to blow up in my face so I can find a girl I'm actually interested in
Hahah. They reconnected again?
Like with his penis I guess
Your brother slept on my deck. There was a key under the mat. Relapse party success.
Nothing like a little chlamydia diagnosis to ring in the new year
I woke up naked with a Jason mask on and a fat lip. What happened last night?
There's lube on my homework. #priorities
I told him I was studying his body for art, so now I have to actually do a drawing of him to not look like a creep and so we can hook up again.
Omg I should get on tinder just to get some edibles in town
Randomize
