I wish they made sweatshirts for legs
you mean pants?
If I was on drugs, this would be amazing
Just pulled my keys, cell-phone and a pack of cigarettes out from between my cleavage. This one guy's face was priceless.
this chick on a show just showed her boobs and let some guy paint them others asked why she did it and her reply i quote "i was bored" why dont chicks get bored more often
We stole a cat. That is all you need to know.
Think worst case scenario and then dress sluttier
My goal tonight is to get arrested because what cop can say they have ever arrested a giant sperm before. God I love halloween
We were messing around at his place it was going fine until he said, "I'm going to cum, hand me the shot glass"
He's def the type to chop us into bits whilst screaming "NAPA BITCH". AKA my type
He said I kept trying to give him directions back to my house in Rhode Island, and that I started crying when he told me I live in Phoenix.
Confirm that you received these messages so that I know you feel the agony of my vagina. There is such a thing as "too many penises".
the cops are being surprisingly chill about david hanging from a tree with no pants.
Wine and a Lunchable. That would be depressing if it wasn't the pepperoni and mozzarella one. Those are the shit!
nyquil+orgasm=very intense and oddly interesting
Woke up with a girls naked next to me I had her thong on somehow.
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