And then i made him answer questions about me before i took off my clothes
Best friends brother. Beat that.
I wanna tell red shirt guy I'm pregnant and use the abortion money for Coachella.
I just want a box on franzia all to myself. Just me, my wine, my tears, & my self loathing.
some girl just asked me if I was that guy that hooked up with nine girls in one night. officially a local celebrity. gonna try and autograph her boobs.
high as fuck. watching parent trap with my mom. keep missing my mouth.
So was it you or me who decided it was a good idea to inscribe fuck you on the counter?
That was me. Just a 'welcome to our home' kinda thing.
Inquiring minds want to know if your Bf is circumcised
Well. I have your keys. You have my car. Looks like we have a drunkxican standoff.
I passed out with my wizard stick taped to my hands and got woken up being poked with a St. Bernard
Well, for starters, she called the condom a "dick mask."
Have I showed you the picture of my vagina with a little bang flag coming out of it?
You know how last week before we left I was drinking outta that blue cup and I left it sitting across the road. Well, it hadn't moved and my family just found it, brought it inside and cleaned it. I think this cup is my soulmate.
I have all the porn. Be there soon
Who is this?
The same idiot-bubble, now just bigger and louder.
Randomize
