After 9 shots a girl with a mustache......still not attractive
Came home and the girl was sitting on the steps "talking" on her ipod touch AND was halfway done eating a raw cucumber.
my roommate just caught me washing a dildo in the sink.
Pretty sure I saw a dude across the room give this girl the international hand gesture for "I'm going to fist you later", she seemed ok with it.
dude all you wanted to do was sleep under a bridge
On the plus side I got to ride in a fire truck and I didn't have to blow anybody for it
she crawled under her car and passed out. Unfortunately her feet were sticking out and someone called 911 because they thought she had been run over.
I'm sorry, when did "I like your shit" become an acceptable pickup line?
She wanted me to watch her masterbate and after she thanked me for a wonderful evening and left. This state is weird.
Is it okay to send him a "thanks for the sexual awakening" note?
My drug dealer bought me a book for Christmas. What a gentleman.
she used her teeth again, but this time it was out of love
I really love you gals. I'm sorry again. I'm just super protective of my poutine
while on the topic of showers...why is there apple juice in our bathtub?
Waking up naked and dehydrated has become a regular occupancy for me.
Randomize
