I then asked the hardee's employee: mam, do you mind if i pay 75 cents in cash and then put the 1.13 on my debit card.
You know you're fucked up when you throw your phone on the roof of the bar to show how good the Otter Box works.
studying for my Anatomy final and masturbating to Japanese porn are practically the same thing
I am still sore from last night. I can't wait for you to meet my parents.
And by "schedule" I meant crumbled up liquor store receipt, that I wrote shit on.
We went from zero to drunk tank in 45 minutes.
So our trip to Disney World ended in the three of us stripping at a gay club in orlando.
He held the kayak still so I wouldn't tip over while projectile vomiting. If that ain't true love, I don't know what is...
The 4th is next week. If we don't get to a new level of high, we will be letting down George Washington.
My cousin is passed out in my room, so I just masturbated in my walk-in closet. Apparently I get off on danger. Make note of that.
He saved you from those guys at the club, took you home, and made you breakfast. If this isn't your come to Jesus moment IDK what is.
Alas my dad DD'd me. Legit cock blocked to the highest degree
I got to walk around for eight hours wearing power armor and acting camp. No way I wouldn't love it.
Omg. Tonight might be the night I masturbate thinking of a smoothie!
Who the fuck is "nick from the beach last year"
No idea hahaha...why?
He just texted me.. Should I ask where I met him?
Randomize
