My head feels like little people r playing bumper cars inside it
I realized that I've made out with a different boy almost every time we've gone to mcgoreys....I don't need a boyfriend...I have that bar
john hughes is dead. crushing any and all dreams of me ever being in an 80's john hughes film. bummer.
Oh well. haha. i couldn't really understand what she was saying. i just nodded a lot. i guesss she found that sexy.
gotta love spring break
gotta love slutty girls from the south
I want to see you in more than a weed delivering capacity
i thought they made a 7-hour walmart run, but they were actually in jail.
I slept face down in the dirt because I wanted to go camping?
The mass text at 3:12AM offering "free scrotum tastings" will have repercussions
It's not my fault. Someone keeps buying me tequila shots. Idk who. But every time I look down there's another. I think there's a conspiracy.
I want him to be my next love. So I'm taking it slow
As in ill only blow him next week
My leg won't stop wagging. It's like it's congratulating my vagina.
I woke up tied to my bed while she was in the corner staring at me while eating cereal. Interesting night!
Dude, I just hit your nipple with a bottle of lube while you were wearing a shirt, 10 feet away without my glasses and I only have "not bad" aim?
I think I'm dead. Also I think I stole $20 from a stripper.
You did. Then gave it to me.
Oh yeah, nothing says welcome home like walking in on your parents having sex on your bed while the dog is watching, they told me to wait until they were done...
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