i have a new swear word: supercalifuckaliciousexpialadamnit
so now she's a stripper
can't say i'm surprised
You flung your panties at that guy you liked with an accuracy that I have never seen before.
Why were you having sex on top of my left over pizza in the kitchen?
its 4am and she invited me over to split a 'romantic bowl of frosted flakes'...really dude?...what do you think she's trying to say?...she better not be kidding about the frosted flakes though.
Just got gas in my car for the first time while high. Went better than expected.
Just streaked campus for a bottle of patron...maybe you're right...I might have a drinking problem...
hooking up with him was much more fun when i knew in the back of mind we'd get in some sort of trouble for it
My vagina has a heartbeat. That means I'm in love, right?
Went and sat in the wrong fucking class for 30 mins, answering questions and shit. What ever this is i will be on it for the rest of the semester.
He totally just went there for sex cuz he slept in her roommates bed the rest of the night after they were done...
pure definition of booty call.
We need to move to a different bar soon. When we're standing on the patio, and every guy around us has seen us naked...there's a problem
Can you leave her a note saying "did you enjoy watching me fuck your roommate?"
I will.
the people in front of me have a grocery cart in their car... i missed college...
I think I accidentally got a sugar daddy but I was already planning on sleeping with him so I’m going to see where this goes
Randomize
