After he came all over my face, he proceeded to give me a high five. I can't even act upset because I always put myself in these situations. Did I mention D3: Mighty Ducks was playing in the background?
So I'm driving and this guy next to me at the stop light is reving his engine and honking at me. Motherfucker thinks that's because I'm asian and drive a honda I'm automatically going to race him
I just beat off to a cartoon porn video. what has my life come to
Well, if they're both my boyfriend.. Then i cheated on both of them.
All we did was argue about ponys and drug dealers
There are lots of gay asians. This is better than i was expecting
I demand visitation hours with the duck.
He paid me to blow him while doing a handstand. Does that make me a whore or just a budding gymnast?
Be there soon... with munchies, blow jobs and shoulder rubs.
I. recorded a message of me yelling at myself to "get up out of that bed" and set it an alarm. REALLY loud
Sometimes I just want to serenade his penis with cheesy 80s songs.
I walked into the living room this morning and he was there with 3 shots in a row. He said it was "tea time."
was his pinky out?
Just text him and be like do you want this pussy or not. You have three seconds to respond.
Dont you look at me in that tone of voice
All I remember is you shouting "THIS KID IS A FREAKIN' NINJA!!" when he dive rolled over a barbed wire fence and proceeded to ask for his 18th beer.
Randomize
