I miss you. Just wanted to say that before the drugs kicked in so it's legit.
I'm at the point in my career when i know a sites a trap and isn't real porn
If im going to fail a midterm I might as well be drunk while I do it
Last day of classes. 1st day attending every class. I'm proud of myself
Don't bite the hand that gives you multiple orgasms
My sink just fell out of the wall. I can't deal with this right now
peeing off your aunts pourch into the koy pond seemed like a good idea at the time
She just told me her legs are numb and that she dedicated her karaoke of ice ice baby to her 4 month old son.
Thanks for the viagra you gave me last night. I ended up getting called in to work to cover a shift. So I had to tell Kayla that I couldn't hang out and I had to try and hide my dick all night while walking serving people food all night.
Remember when there was a happier time when people could all hang out together with out the awkwardness of the fact that she stole $1000 and cheated on a brother with another brother !?!??
Nothing says Merry Christmas like gifting a bottle of rum and finishing it yourself then leaning over at the dinner table to puke it back up.
I don't like sad things. I do like drinking though
Someone has big plans this weekend. Just went to throw away the trash and saw packaging for 3 different vibrators on the top of the stack
I've fucked him twice and literally had no idea that he's missing a thumb
I need more 20 something year old penis in my life
Randomize
