It smells like wine and fried chicken. Im confused and intrigued.
and ill be dreaming of you. not in a creepy way, but in an inappropriate way
I just had to blow my nose on a mcdonalds receipt in my car. Its time to stop doing coke.
Although I wish I was out drinking, this cough syrup has me slightly more optimistic than usual.. I heavily debating trying to find mystical creatures and selling them to rich people as pets
We are winners. And by winners I mean home wrecking sluts
Isn't that what our 20s r for?? Testing the strength of other people's shitty relationships?
That is true. Vodka is like a dog. Always loyal, warm, and there for you when you need it
Dinner?
YES CON MARGARITAS POR FAVOR!!!! MUCHO MARGARITAS!!!
Vegas is great, yelled at a guy 4 lanes over if he wanted a bj. ended up having sex in a vacant lot. I think he was homeless.
Next time I think buying tan-thru bikinis is a good idea, remind me of that time I passed out in one and burned the epic shit out of my pussy.
When was that?
Yesterday. Bring aloe. For my pussy.
You know, I think I'm going to rock the shit out of this whole mid-twenties thing. Fuck babies and weddings -- I have vodka and young cock.
Next time I try to break into the police station drunk, please stop me.
Named all the presidents in order between puke sessions while semi conscious so that's a thing I can do now
Sorry for cyberstalking your dad.
I wish my nipples were as well behaved as yours.
Why is no one on Snapchat tonight? I want to see other people having fun so I know it still exists.
Randomize
