when i was 16 reading the aftercare instructions at the piercing place i wondered why they would ever think to warn me about getting semen in my bellybutton
then i met college
A 14 year old with a teardrop tattoo just tried to sell me weed. I'm in the wrong fucking neighborhood.
There was a lot of him and a little penis
Hes flirting with her via the sauce packets at taco bell....... I have no words
I poured myself a glass of chocolate chips at some point during the evening.
Nothing says "I mean business" like using a cart at the liquor store.
Just got gas in my car for the first time while high. Went better than expected.
The Winnie the Pooh costume was great until you got drunk and started yelling at the kids asking for pictures.
These kids are nice. Shrooms make everything so nice.
I'm still confused. So he's NOT your cousin by blood, but WAS your cousin, on two separate occasions, by marriage? Still too weird I think...
If I just skip sleeping, does hangover still happen? Gonna try it. Will report back. StTAND BY
I blew past the Governor's motorcade going twice the speed limit and DIDN'T get a ticket. God wants me to get laid.
I'm a lady who knows what she wants in life, and that's uncommitted dick.
I almost had a threesome in a giant beanbag chair. I love college.
You went into my bathroom put on my bathrobe.. Said excuse me then went in my front yard and started yelling who ate my whopper..
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