I think my plan to not drink this week was just ruined by my mothers discovery of the chat function on facebook
I just hit a new low..poured my beer in an empty coke can so I could drink in walmart.
Judging by her face, I'd say she's at least dabbled with meth...
Did you write your name in the dust on our toilet tank?
my roommate just showed up covered in dirt, drunk....with a whole ice cream cake that says "it's a girl".
I wish we couldve been like jesus and the desiples tongith
First of all, I don't like eggnog. Second of all too much rum is all bad. And thirdly I'm not there to sit in your lap and pretend you are Santa and I've been a bad girl.
Ive never seen him vulnerable before. He just had surgery and looked so cute on his crutches. like a little baby bird with a broken wing. that i wanted to nurse back to health. with my vagina
First thing on my "to do" list- get sober for community service.
The guy I woke up with is wearing the same nailpolish as me...I need to stop drinking
Nope, can't do it. It's a snowball effect. Today, leggings as pants. Tomorrow, female hitler. Natural progression.
I like making it seem like it's at least a little bit difficult to hook up with me
So apparently when I'm drunk and want water I pant like a dog and expect to have water given to me..
I might attempt to pee into a cup while driving. I'll let you know how it goes.
She's one of those people who could be either 16 or 23. In which case she's too old for me or in dangerously jailbait territory for you, bro.
Randomize
