Just cropdusted the office
i wish there was an iPhone app that lets you write a TeXt LiKe tHiS
dude...come out of the closet already
how much land on farmville do you have now? i sold all my shit to make room i need more money... these animals need to know I'm running a business not a charity.
No, I stopped taking my meds because I like crazy me better
We have to talk through the words with friends chat so his gf won't find out
He kept yelling "osteoporosis" and threw milk at her because she broke her arm.
Dude she has starbursts in her sports bra. I feel like this is counter productive.
There was a staple in my grits at waffle house last night. My knees are bruised as hell. And I puked pink all over my bathroom. Gooood night.
Woke up naked on my floor covered in cookies. We should celebrate fake hurricanes every weekend.
we've coined the Sunday morning ritual of taking out our puke-filled trash cans as The Trash Of Shame
Security deposit gone.
burned down garage with fireworks.
Drunk texting is the poetry of my life
This is the drunkest I've ever been at a chili's
No. Nooooo. No way. She looked like Amanda Bynes. The recent one not the one from All That.
He only has one ball. it was like fucking a cyclops.
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