Man, ugly runs in her family
yeah, big time
yeah, he just sent me a picture of himself with his shirt off.... It didnt turn me on, it just made me want to buy him a big mac....
I think he finally resigned to the fact he could not get off. He just looked at me and said "I'm having testicle difficulties," rolled over and passed out.
Where are you and why am I suddenly responsible for your taquitos?
I was just about to send a concerned text until I opened my door and saw a shopping cart. I'm glad you made it home in one piece and with toys.
This from the guy I found eating salad out of a pot lid in his boxers on his porch last night.
WHY IN THE FUCK DID YOU LET ME DRUNK PUNCH STEVE? HE IS SUCH A NICE GUY!
I just really wish I could go back and unsex him. Waste of my vagina.
Jesus tap dancing Christ rock out with your cock out is supposed to be just an expression. And even if it weren't no one wants pics bro.
It was like the icing on a beautiful fuck boy cake.
I'm so glad you haven't fallen off any more yachts
I wanted to say "you're a souless cunt" but in a nice way. So I added a smiley face.
He passed out with his shoes on 20 minutes till midnight, and I didn't have a sharpie so I took the cheese whiz and filled his exposed ass crack.
I may have passed out and puked all over the host's favorite couch, but three hours and a rip later, I was eating tiramisu in the bathtub with the birthday boy and a hot Italian.
Put down the Captain Crunch and get over here. It’s a dickfest!!
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