if you come down to my room ill tell you a secret
think what you will about my sexuality, just get the cigarettes
I'm drunk in f*****g wisconsin and want to kill myself.
If it's any consolation, be grateful that you're not in New Jersey.
thats the last time I fuck a piece of fruit on camera for him.
She said she wanted to have closure sex.
She scratched my sunburn during sex. I didn't know whether to cry or cum
Just beat off to internet porn while talking to my mom on the phone and eating a cinnamon roll. U have 5 minutes to get on my level
Oh I already celebrated valentine's day. I stayed up until 4 AM listening to biggie, drinking rum, and caressing all my girl curves in front of the mirror. And then I came 3 times.
It's sitting in bleach right now. You will be the creepiest coolest dude in my book if you made a bracelet from my tooth.
Right when he asked me if I was on birth control my dad walked in. This is my fate.
Holy shit, add "successfully got stoned secretly at a party where a cop was" to my list of accomplishments.
I swear she is the Mary Poppins of drugs
I just need to find a good handlebar mustache to sit on until I'm over that beard
I'm to the point of desperation where I stare at customers penis imprints through their pants all day
Please stop calling me a pterodactyl during sex. It only happens when you're drunk, but still.
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