And then I watched some old guy get arrested for meeting some other old guy for a blow job. It was epic.
I KNOW you don't honestly think you can pay me back in lotto tickets.
I woke up on a futon with 2 stolen budwiesers in my purse, 5 extra bucks, a sucker stuck to my shoe, one sock, and a stolen copy of the zombie survival guide
please tell me this is not legit
Why am I in a dog kennel?
It was for your own safety
Fell off bed. Face first. 10 stitches. huge scar on forehead. totally going to start telling ppl my parents died fighting Voldemort.
Thanks for having 911 ready when I jumped off the balcony
Apparently you can legally be topless in Boulder, CO. Get on it.
I'm getting shit face wasted, and I have to be up so early tomorrow. I am bad at smart.
Until they make a bed that bathes you in your sleep, I will not be satisfied.
So i had a feeling this dude with one leg in a wheelchair was following me around Walmart turns out I was right. He just asked for a picture of my feet.
i mean i let him but still...
just reached the point where my breast implants paid from themselves in free drinks.
THIS IS THE 11TH FUCKING COFFEE TABLE THAT YOU AND RICHARD CRASHED THROUGH.
I'm surprised me and Richard survived 11 of your coffee tables.
YOU TWO ARE BUYING ME A NEW ONE I AM PISSED.
you never un-have a 4some
Dude. I keep thinking about how I let a man gum my vagina.
If ur gunna go fuck a guy that's in the baseball hall of fame do you need to shave your legs? I'm so lazy
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