no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
well we can cross tagging a chick in a movie theatre off the list of things to do before we die
When I saw him standing at full height, I realized exactly how much his body structure reminds me of his penis.
Wine + wine + wine + wine + bud light = puke.
Just spent 45mins blow drying a joint i dropped in a beer....i felt like i dropped his infant child....
Canada: barely better than America at a sport they invented.
Hes sobering up now. He was just really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while he was telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together..
Just spent a extra 20 minutes on the phone with the lady from unemployment talking about how to make the best brownies.
Your dad needs a mid life crisis affair thing, I could totally be that girl.
Can you please come and collect your boss off of my kitchen floor.
Apparently, the Mormons have taken over airports. I was told by a befuddled looking clerk I couldn't buy a beer with breakfast before 6am.
I seriously need to grocery shop. I have a slice of cheese, and alcohol.
Just so were clear your wife is cut off from my dick.
Yeah, I've hit on priests at bars, too. Such a shame, there are a lot of hot men out there who've devoted themselves and their glorious genitalia to the Lord -_-
Perfect attendance and not being drunk since Sunday. This is a new leaf if I've ever seen one
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