it's gonna be a chat room kind of night
She didn't know my name but she knew I was Canadian so she just called me Canada. It sounded like the national anthem when we were fucking.
I woke up with a crunchy, pink Pepto streak through my hair, no recollection of the last 6 hours of my night and the feeling that all the hotel's staff knew me on a first name basis.
Yeah. I stopped her before she flashed the guy for a free slice of pizza. She called me a gentleman and then before I knew it she was in my bed.
There was a dismembered bleeding penis in my dream last night. That's some serious Freudian shit.
You should never talk to him again. Unless its you knocking on the door and punching his dick.
no drinking for a week
if by week you mean tonight and by no you means yes
Hey man. We haven't met but my name is Ben. I threw up a bunch at your house last night. I heard you smoke though so I'll smoke you out anytime.
Mark just took 50mg Viagra. Tonight should be interesting for the neighbors.
I'm sitting here bra-less eating jalepeno candied bacon. You know you want this.
Coming.
Dude, don't put me in a suit and feed me liquor; I'll never go home.
we could do so many fantastic illegal things together. sexually and otherwise.
Did I try to sell your body for chicken tenders last night?
I found myself looking up beard accounts while masturbating, I guess that's what it's come to.
I could be the Kenny Powers of Sex Therapists.
Randomize
