we were wasted and he didn't have a condom so he called the front desk and asked for one. They didn't "officially" have them but the night manager happened to have one in his wallet. He brought it to the room with two mints.
My financial aid advisors would be so pissed if they knew I was spending my loan money on strippers
Sorry about your blender, your tiolet, your weed, and your dog...
I'm eager to hear this explaination.
nothing like a cross blunt to celebrate the birth of our savior
I met this girl the other day and found out her boyfriend is a helicopter pilot. How the fuck do you compete with that.
I have a theory that years from now they will be with women who despise me because of what I trained their husbands to like.
strip vodka pong is never a good idea. I saw into his colon when he picked up the ball off the floor
Apparently when the cops arrived I was standing over him in the bathroom yelling, get the fuck up you piece of shit. Beer still in hand.
I woke up with my earring stuck inbetween my tits. Somehow you fucked my earring out and my boobs saved it. I'm pretty impressed with both of us right now.
I'm totally going to bang the cable guy tonight. I'm so pumped
Well if I can't snuggle you, I might as well snuggle a stranger's cat.
Same encounter she body slammed me to the floor and than humped me
My vagina still hurts from yesterday. That's the last time I think riding a mop bucket is a good idea. Don't let me do that again
Hey what are you up to?
I am wear the people with the mustaches live. I have found their home.
DUDE, WE BOUGHT THE ACID TOGETHER.
I'm fucking camped out by the bathrooms. I think the poopatrator is in there. Wtf is my life
Almost an end to the saga.
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