I will make out with the first guy who tries to pick me up with a lyric from a rap song. I won't even reply, just be on him like whoa.
A friday without alcohol is hardly a friday at all
I knew something was wrong when santa got arrested
just crush a couple of percocets into it. tell him sam adams came out with a new beer. flavored with sleep.
We were just talking bout putting on helmets and going fo a car ride just to see how ppl react. I will def fit in here haha
We had to leave after he was in the middle of the street yelling "Balls of Steeeeeeeeel!!"
DICK PUNCH EXTRAVAGANZAAAAAA!!!!!
Well once I told her I had a girlfriend she actually got more aggressive. Then Danielle called me and she saw the pic of the two of us on my phone and immediately said "can my caller I'd pic be me sitting on your face" wtf?
His brother just asked him in all seriousness if it would be cool if they became eskimo brother brothers.
If drinking had a "new high score" I think I hit it this weekend.
I need a drink. No, several. I need several drinks. Drunk, I need to be drunk. Definitely need to be drunk
yeah, i'm probably gonna die. still gonna be totally worth it tho
You wouldn't put pants on to see my parents.
I passed up getting laid last night. It's almost been a YEAR - what the Hell was I thinking, being so choosy??
One day he'll find out I do drugs and stop talking to me.
What will you do then?
Drugs, probably.
Randomize
