You know, I didn't realize this at the time, but it appears that I am being "heavily petted" by 3 grown men in that pic.
If these were biblical times then you'd be a Roman Senator.
Leaving terminator. dude in front of us leaving was wearing a baggy micael vick jersey, cargo shorts and brown crocs. God I hate people.
I'm destined to be knocked up by a sailor
Hahaha I asked him about her bjs and he said "I would not wish that on anyone"
Please tell me how I go from a guy with a coke problem to a cop. My own life doesn't even make sense to me anymore
For the record, rock bottom is where you start crying during porn because your ex used to slap your ass like that.. Continue on with your day now.
He was so aggressive it felt like he was giving my boob a root cannal
We peed on campus in the middle of the tailgate and then hit on a married cop that asked you to stop touching him
we're spending all day in bed drinking spiked eggnog and fucking
A homeless man just offered me vodka. The power it took to deny it deserves an award.
Pretty sure the cop told you that you were the first person he pulled over for being drunk on a tractor. So there's that.
Just get over here and light metaphorical fireworks in my literal vagina
No I did a yoga dvd and hit my ex up via email for some pot in exchange for his mail.
I wore the clothes I got arrested in last night to work today.....there is no where but up from here!
He bought me a bottle of Malibu. I think I could love this guy.
I've loved people for a lot less.
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