Mind blown. Apparently, it's PRErogative, not PERogative. I blame Bobby Brown.
There's a woman at Starbucks that keeps pushing her stroller into me.
Punch her baby.
One minute shes telling me about her volunteer work then she whips out a 12 inch dildo
I feel like she's the kind of girl who always ends up with guys who have oddly shaped dicks..
He's sitting on the floor holding his bracket and crying, literally crying... he just keeps saying "Kansas how could you?" over and over
Is it weird that out of everything, Im most worried about chipping a tooth on his prince albert?
Found a pic of me suckling your nipple at the bar. Safe to say you don't want this one tagged?
Like there's an 87% chance I'll end up on the bedroom floor demanding sex while freestyling in your face. I'm going to buy rum.
Maybe her vagina is like a vacuum
I can't decide if that would be a good or bad thing. I'm leaning toward good
I overcharge people for their weed so you can have yours for free, because I care
I would like to request a high five for getting laid while wearing crocs and a crab hat.
it'll be okay! And just think of this ultrasound as the most action you've had in a month...
As we were leaving a memorial service last night he turns to me and says, is it too soon for a post funeral blowie?
I maxed out my credit card last night on powdered donuts and beef jerky
My horoscope should say: you're an alcoholic, get help today, Pisces
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