Listening to Joy Division and applying for Walmart. You get to choose which one is more depressing.
i dodnt think we hooked up bcause he actually texted me the next day
Mom just posted ur drunk pix from Cancun in the newly made "My not-so-fantastic son" album. Thought you should know.
all i wanna do is drink skittled vodka, fuck my gf, and pass out in my neighbors hot tub naked
Yeah it'll definitely be worth it. Not having syphilis all the time you know
Just left the frat house in last nights clothes minus my earings, shoes, underware, tequilla cap, and my dignity. If you see me on your way home just hit me
What color suit is the proper "i banged the bride" attire?
My boss just sent an employee on an hour long paid break to pick up weed for our 'staff meeting' tomorrow morning.
Ecstasy body chair massage shower sex fest this week?
I'm sitting in front of a fan naked drinking Gatorade. Motherfucking hangover probs
I found your dog. Now we are bros, so he is staying. Don't call, don't make it weird.
guys I just made $20 cause these random south african guys thought I wasn't wearing any underwear
ted dressed as a cardinal led an expedition across campus. i felt like one of the 12 apostles.
Now with the essential back story, I can empathize. Sorry about your beer and butthole.
Needless to say, I did not go home with him cause he kinda resembled a guppy fish.
Randomize