We were having sex on the balcony and this guy walked by, so drunkily i said "dont move, he cant see us if we dont move."
if I could go back to kindergarten and not fuck up my life, I so would.
If you're going to watch porn, can you atleast be considerate and watch it on my old laptop and not the new one?
so just saw tiger woods pull a page out of his wifes book and hit some kid in the head with a golf club
If we get out of this alive, I'm never going to a Denny's at 3 am again.
I was preparing to do my walk of shame shirtless, but then I found my sweater, wallet and keys neatly piled under a tree in the park.
Change of plans. Theres a bouncy castle setup in my apartment complex.
anyone who says having children is the best experience of their life obviously has never seen a vending machine carry vodka in Capri sun pouches.
Well, remember that night we took shrooms at graces an had to leave immediately to go home and hold each other on the futon and sob for four hours? That bad...
Time to eat Mexican food til I hate myself.
That's completely alright, I do it a lot.
Nothing wrong with a few meaningless hookups. Keeps the mind occupied and the body satisfied
i also remember watching someone vomit off a balcony which was kind of grim
I woke up with sticky red stuff all over my sheets, face, and chest. Apparently after I blacked out I thought eating ribs in bed was a good idea
I think I was just motorboated by a 4-year old girl.
How many gummy vitamins can I eat before I die
Randomize
