I attract so much trash. The guy that is engaged and kissed me is here so is his fiancé. I feel likeshw knows and will cut me in the bathroom might happen. If I'm not at the pool tomorrow she has blonde hair and is really flat.
also, you're talking to the girl for whom "deformed baby arm" wasn't quite a dealbreaker.
I knew I shouldn't have slept with her...my dick looks like a stegosaurus tail
I seriously fake cumming more than i poop.
It was tug of war between me and the cop. He wanted the beer, I wanted the coozie.
So I just saw Jonah Hill at LAX and decided my fat fetish is back
You should go to counseling for that
I just want a pillowcase full of fast food so I can eat and sleep this hangover away
No. I just want to cuddle and talk about our feeling. Of course this a booty call.
Update: I may or may not be in a cult
Update #2: I may or may not be the leader of said cult
Just got offered bathroom sex. I've never been more flattered.
I thought about mashed potatoes the whole way home
you don't understand it took me an hour and a half to escape that bed, I had to memorize his sleeping patterns.
Drunk you needs to learn how to call sober me, so sober me can talk your drunk vagina down.
after the ketamine those signs on the bathroom door had little meaning to us
Its one of those days... someone might die
Would a picture of my dick help?
Randomize
