I bought a boat. Want to have sex on The Angry Clam? That's what I named it.
cant go down on her man, her vagoo reminds me of a face hugger from aliens
last night some bitch put bruce along with his entire fishbowl in her purse and tried to leave. how drunk do you have to be to steal someone's pet??
think im gonna go get a six pack before class and sit in the back of the room...
that coffee was exactly what I needed. Also whose awesome hat is on the couch with ear flaps? I wanna put my head in it
it's all fun and games until somebody pulls the tampon string..
i got so high last night i cried hysterically for like 5 minutes because i dont have any superpowers
We need somewhere to take these girls. Otherwise it's a orgy in the Mazda.
There's some drunk girl alone in the field, she looks like she could use some help.
Also it's only fair that you know that that girl is me.
She told me to act like the hulk during sex. Shit got 9 different shades of weird
I used a jello pudding cup as a shot chaser last night. I'm the Bill Cosby of alcoholics
I've never seen a dude bust out of his jacket and rock an air banjo like u
That's the 2nd med student that has had his tongue in my butthole, what gives.
we should paint friendship bongs
No I’m scared man. She sharted. In my car. Wearing a dress. And I still like her.
Wow
Randomize
