I just masturbated at work. Does that make me a prostitute since i just technically got paid to have sex?
I have carpet burn on my ass, I'm rethinking my decisions last night.
Braces and a neon one piece. She looks 15.
i'm in love
I'm pretty sure I'm almost gay. Like, I'd do it if I had no choice. Like, if i were in prison I'd try it.
Im like a co-bf. he pays for her birthday and christmas, but i get all the action.
apparently 20 random guys watched the process of me being carried on a mattress through the dorms
As punishment for throwing up on my car, I am holding your phone hostage until the morning. You can read this message after I drop it off.
Some guy just stopped me in the bar and asked if I had a shot named after me at another bar called God damn my VaJana hurts? He already knew my name was Jana so I couldn't deny it!
He had to carry me to the car. But then sat with me and waited for me to sober up enough to have sex. He's a keeper.
Do me a favor and don't mention him I feel like Regina George and I just want to scream I made him
I can empathize with sociopaths, serial killers, demons, gods, and monsters....straight white males are literally the only barrier to my 100% empathy rate. I don't get it.
so he's a sleeptalker.
yeah??
"Mitochondria is the powerhouse of the cell" right in my ear. 2 am.
Met this british guy. Played pool. Broke into an apartment and had sex
She kept telling me that it pissed her off that i expect people to make out with me...then she made out with me. Win?
The hump and dump is a beautiful thing
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