Don't be scared. It'll feel very good. And you'll be clean afterwards. I'm growling right now.
and all i could think was, am i really about to have sex with someone who still thinks that pee comes out of the actual vagina?
Just got tipped $5 for distracting some dude's gf while he got another girl's number. Bro-code at its finest.
was it me or did you scream 'champagne motherfucker' when you punched him in the face ??
I just had a threesome in the back of my mom's van. I'm pretty sure the rest of my week is going to be epic.
I don't really know how to explain this place...it's like I feel like I need an std just to fit in
Regardless of the amount of alcohol you may consume tonight - DON'T take anybody home
I tripped over a vacuum cleaner and fell into a beer pyramid
I can't name a single part of my body that isn't sore. Who says break up sex is bad sex?
The annual Father's Day Wake and Bake has been canceled due to lack of hustle.
Can someone explain to me why guys are so fascinated w their dicks that they feel like they'll die if they don't send unsolicited dick pics
You are attracted to power and since you can't date the married old guy you have to go for the next best thing - his gay son
I'm having shoppers remorse over a dildo
I just bought condoms and a potted plant, making for a top ten super weird and awkward purchase.
Dude, someone puked in my washing machine last night, I tried turning it on to clean it...not a good idea
Trying to figure out these fractions. I bought 5 fifths of gin last week. Does that mean I have one whole gin? 5/5 = 1, right? You're having to homeschool your kids right now--so ask them.
Randomize
