At the hair cuttery. A father here with his daughter just answered his phone "ken's whorehouse"...Now I remember why I used to pay more for haircuts.
Note to self: soco dudes get amusinly uncomfotable when I moan at the urinal.
they said they heard you say put it in my butt
just added God to my list of friends who can only see my limited profile on facebook. its such a relief to know that He can't watch me fuck up my life anymore.
it's kind of slutty but what the hell, so are we
I just had to dig under a pile of condoms in my desk drawer to get to a blue book. Summer is officially over.
I need a vacation from myself..this is duely noted after I tried giving myself a concussion last night
On 3 separate occasions, she grabbed my bullhorn to announce to the entire party she had fucked me.
However today I got my lube that might I add was dripping out of the box. I'd like to think my mailman was mixing business with pleasure.
I used to think not drinking while I was pregnant was not gonna be a problem, but I now I'm like shit that's a long time
I ate pizza in bed, sans pants, and then carved a pumpkin. FUNCTIONING ADULT MOTHERFUCKERS!
Going to put that on my resume. "Only accidentally snapchatted my titties to all of my friends once."
Life hack: hotbox while in the car wash. It'll change your life.
He caught me mid-escape...one leg out the window, bra n thong in hand.I just looked at him and said "Bye Now" n proceeded to fall out his window....then.... tell me why he texted me 30 min later to make sure i got home ok! #igotthis
Sorry I missed your call. I was in the shower washing away my sins and sweat. Please tell me you want to get drunk as shit later.
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