I must say, I don't like the act of throwing up, but the feeling after is quite delightful
Drank beer out of a hotwheels bucket all night
she refused to get out of the dog cage till we sang "be our guest" to her.
i caught him jerking off, doing his SAT Prep. forever alone.
We played "race the Jimmy John's driver". Order, then see if we can finish sex before the food arrives.
Hey did where's my bong?
In the tree out back .... Top branch on the right
Should I bother to ask?
I figured out why I insisted on leaving my sweater on the ground outside. I smelled it and I'm 97% sure I peed on it last night
you don't know what its like to have your bartender tell you that you owe him beer money infront of your mother at 3pm on a tuesday
I think you're my mermaid sister. Separated at birth, by sea.
I'm so hung over that I'm pretty sure I can feel the earth's rotations when I close my eyes.
I don't think it counts as a booty call at 6:30 pm.
I smoked too much. I'm sitting on my balcony and I keep getting lost. Help me
I mean I did fuck her boyfriend, the least I could do is post happy birthday on her Facebook wall.
There is this guy in here. He didn't even get ice cream he just filled up his cup with mini marshmellows, chocolate syrup, about a lb of grahm cracker crumbs and walked around to everyone in the shop saying "hey, hey look here, I just made fucking s'mores." He was SO proud of himself.
All I know is I woke up in the back seat of my car, with the engine on, and my gps navigated to florida.
Randomize
