i can juggle bunnies
cool
on fire
weed, chlorine, and victory. my bed smells like i had sex with michael phelps.
God. I'm so broke I don't even have a dollar to snort my adderall through.
I was debating whether her purse was real then I saw her puke in it.
Just saw a guy from Kansas and a guy from Nebraska arguing over who had less of an accent. God Bless the Midwest.
he was like a christmas ornament you would hang on the back of the tree....not great but still made the cut.
Boys can't fool me. I know "want to come up and meet my dogs?" is just a nondirect way of saying "come up and meet my penis".
both the worst and best vomit ever... it was extra chunky and thick cause of the sausage... but it also tasted like delicious sausage... also cause of the sausage
1. Sorry about making it snow. 2. If it left a mess, I will be over to clean it. 3. Can that fire extinguisher still be used? If not, I'll buy a new one. 4. I just wanted to make it snow!
Please tell me there isn't another video of me on the toilet...
And then my hands went numb and no one believed me so I started putting peoples cigarettes out on them. Shitty idea i'll tell you that much
Martha Stewart has had a one night stand and is unsure if she's had a threesome. I no longer feel slutty.
No like he has curves. I remember thinking he had a nicer body than me
What did you two do last night and why did Sam send me a picture of your dick?
she told me id be a great addition to their lesbian community and shes giving me sex eyes from across the room. come get me NOW
Randomize