woke up this morning wit a massive hangover. walked to my truck and found at least 35 for sale signs, a stop sign, and a julie kim sign...need answers
yea, you decided to become a real estate agent last night on the way home from the party. You started bitchin about how Julie Kim was stealing all your buisness....
I can't right now...you know Sunday night is whn I get drunk and do laundry.
Remember the time we were in the hospital and I wanted to steel the arm restraints and use them as sex toys?? Oh college memories....
I'm not asking you to commit. I'm politely asking your penis to be my friend.
How much do you charge for your Funyun and beer delivery service?
You don't know how much I love you. You could play Careless Whisper while we have sex and I'd still love you
the only thing I remember was some guy took out his fake eye to use it for beer pong
I woke up to half of the whiskey bottle gone, and apparently I showered in my clothes. Pretty good start to SB2015 I'd say?
I climbed up on the tank of the toilet so I could take a slo-mo vid of myself pissing into the garbage can, but the base of the toilet shattered and I had to bail.
I need to get all the one night tinders in my system before I move back in with my parents
So.. I was kinda upset i got the bad fuck out of the situation
wait. i have to tell u something. and it has nothing to do with dildos or spiders
The most awkward thing in the morning is seeing your teacher's dick right before you go to his class.
He was cute in a Sketchy-trying-to-sell-you-a-vaccum-at-9-at-night kinda way.
she was just meowing in the corner eating frozen chicken nuggets
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