I just puked in the mop bucket at work. I think I need to go home.
The streak lives on, still havent been to Towson without throwing up
bet u 5 dollars u can't guess were i woke up this morning
oh god.. jail?
better, on the catwalk of the auditorium
We are so drunk I just let him piss between my legs on the toilet. That's love.
Divorce is final. Doing tequila shots at 1 in the afternoon.
Last night in my drunkenness I bought hurricane supplies which included a jug of wine and a bouquet of flowers. Apparently I'm going to woo Irene.
I always forget that visiting my hometown is like a who's who of ugly people.
wine lets you be on time to class apparently
This is a dangerous realization
I love you more with every blowjob.
You should write for Hallmark.
When I see myself in tank tops and push up bras I seriously wonder why I'm not President.
Also, the greatest of ironies: I got shampoo confiscated by security while Corey managed to get pot through. MERICA!
It's becoming clear to me that I am not sugar baby material. I don't think I could handle old balls long term.
I'm going to talk him into letting me tie him up, and then just leave him that way and go meet you for fro-yo.
Bank just called....we left my debit card in the ATM last night.
Yea she is hot. But she also had no toothpaste in her entire apartment.
Randomize
