What the hell do I have to do to get some foreplay around here? This sucks.
I think you know the answer.
How can I marinade myself in Vodka?
She has 2500 facebook friends. I probably should have used a condom.
I looked at her and said "I now pronounce you pumpkin tits"
i just got painted green i'm not about to leave for anything
I'm not gonna not go for it, she's foreign and pulled a shotglass out of her thong.
She started crying. I don't think she's gotten head from a sax player before.
he matches the description of mystery hookup #2, 4, and 7
It's official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world.
My grandpa is giving me detailed instructions on how to fight a second floor bedroom fire from a ladder on the out side. Just in case
YOU'RE HIGH AND AT THE GYM OF COURSE YOU FEEL WEIRD
My thighs feel like glass
bro, your right, i shouldn't feel embarrassed about taking shots from a penis-shaped ice sculpture
You had a 45min conversation with the Ronald McDonald statue I have the video to prove it
Typical. We're ready to go, and you're not wearing pants.
what a classic moment of my life. A buffet of taco bell and a taser gun.
I just elbowed a roll of wrapping paper, and said “ohh sorry”. I’m still drunk.
Randomize
