just wanted to thank u for shitting in my dads bidet last night. i had to manually scoop ur shit out of it. btw ur dumped.
there's a wrestler here in a Ferrari//puma hoodie who is telling girls his win//loss record as a pickup line.
i love how he claims to not know english but when i ask him to come over and fuck me he's all of a sudden fluent
his grandma walked in on us. twice. and he was truly fucking surprised when i put my pants back on.
If I were there, I'd be putting a martini in you, via funnel if need be, and you would be doing this thing.
I hope your perfect outfit is a slutty power rangers outfit. That's been my dream wedding since I was a kid.
It's hard being an adult. And by that I mean it's hard to tell the boy you like who rejected you that you can't share a room with him at white party because you don't want to see him bang other boys.
He would have to make magical things happen in my nether regions to actually make me vote republican.
how did you know i stayed over last night?
there was a trail of glow sticks and cheetos from the front door all the way to his bedroom
The length of my leg hair is a constant reminder of how long it's been since I even thought I had a chance of getting laid.
You burned the hair off your arms. Again.
It grows back stronger each time.
He told me how it ended, then I blew him.
So he ruined the best cinematic experience of your life and you REWARDED him??
Dude, half of south Mississippi has seen my taint. I'm not worried.
He kept telling me that it stood for Sex Utility Vehicle
did you just describe your masturbation session as "rad af??"
Randomize
