I woke up (not at home) to find out I kissed Ryan Caberra, flashed for free gumbys and carried around an inflatable moose named Johnson. Great success.
Lesbian sex in an alleyway drunk.
Maybe the downfall to liking really smart guys is that they're to smart to think about sex all the time.
Also I think I'm starting to get calluses on my hands from my level of sexual activity
Thought it only fitting this Jubilee weekend to snort lines with a 50 note
Your patriotism amazes me, the Queen would be proud!
He insisted he brought his alarm clock everywhere, and then the girl screamed "fuck French people!"
That's like the cock version of a mortal kombat fatality.
Duuuuuuuude, I need you to sleep with my girlfriend so I can tell you both to move out
He spelled Steven with "ph", needless to say my nose was almost bleeding from the amount of axe he was wearing.
He cannot be your sugar daddy. He looks like a literal hot dog.
The selfie stick gets 5 stars bc it really added a fun element to my sex tape
He stopped me in the middle of a blow job to call his grandma for her birthday.
At least he has family values.
he said he was going to fuck me like a rabbit in heat. What he should have said was faster then a train and over before a commercial
You've reached your one pic per night limit. To increase your limit, start conversations before 9 and submit your request for an additional pic before 10.
Im four hours late for work AND i pissed my bed
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