He just yelled in the bar, "So I stuck it in two girls butts, why are you bringing that up now?"
All i remember is people cheering me on to drink faster than the dog, out of the dog's bowl. I just couldn't stop.
Hey. Hey you. Just wanted to let you know that I'm adorable. FUCKING ADORABLE. That is all. This update brought to you by our proud sponsor bud light.
I was to the point where my socks were drenched in ranch dressing
I told you I'm not going to the Phillies game until we're tripping balls
There were grown college boys running around north campus in capes with nerf guns. If security were to be called I think they would just give them more beer.
I don't remember where I was but I remembered that I hated everyone there
It's national "dress up your pet day" come over. Drugs and dressed up cats..it's the shit dreams are made of.
I miss the days where our biggest worries were who was gonna win battle shits.
I'm shopping for Mother's Day cards while waiting for my herpes medication. What is life.
I woke up at 6 and was laying at the top of my stairs.
Fuck. What bets did I make about "yeah when the Cubs win the World Series" that I gotta reneg on????
Ewe he just snapped me a pic of his butt crack.. Should I be concerned?
Did you get drunk between now and two texts ago?
I hate waking up to a room that reeks of bad decisions...
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