Just found 50 pesos and a coke spoon in my dads old shit. Gotta love the 70s
i knew she was high when she broke up the cookies into her glass of milk and ate it like cereal
Sandwiches are there for you when porn isn't.
I bought this skirt with every intention to have it wrapped around my tits by the end of the night. So, I'm not a whore. I'm a self-fulfilling prophecy.
uh, 3 redbulls and 400mg of caffeine pills and i still feel like life is in slowmotion..lets not take tranquilizers again.
Let me put it this way - if I had a list of things I would like between my legs, she would rank below the cello I turned into firewood sophomore year.
Yep. It's going to be us, strippers, and drag queens.
A glittery, gay, heavily makeuped, scantily dressed clusterfuck.
I'm not worried. All I have to do is not be the drunkest painter at 8:00. Golden.
My vag is like the Sahara
Ew that's gross.
The sad truth. Barren and empty.
I woke up naked to an alarm set for 11:18 pm and missing a shoe. How was your night?
I vaguely remember us chasing shots by licking each other's faces last night. Our friendship has reached another level completely.
my confident boosted when he told me that it was I who started making out with him. ME. NOT HIM.
I AM SHOCKED AND PROUD OF MYSELF
On my way to return shoes I bought so that I can afford to buy a pregnancy test. Is this adulthood?
you said, "the pool was totally tequila. and i left my shoe halfway across town. and by shoe i mean car" it appeared to me that you didn't have your shoes or car.
Ugh I realized he only responds to my snaps when I’m eating a popsicle
Why are male brains so small?
Randomize