Lets drop out of school and be professionally skinny and drunk
Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
listening to techno makes your hand move faster while masterbating
Im dancing with my grandma to Low right now at the wedding. There's no coming back from this.
definitely just fell out of bed trying to plug in my phone. when did laziness start getting painful?
Some one left their pants in the elevator.
Remember when I said "no boyfriend, no problems"? I lied. Tequila. Tequila is a problem.
Correct me if I'm wrong, but did you let me pee in the grass while barking? And also, how many of you have videos?
First time at a gay bar. I found a surrogate AND sperm donor! The surrogate is straight, so it evens out.
2 things: 1) can you get hep from toilet water? And 2) do you know where we can get a new skillet for cheap?
Please tell me those aren't related.
I made rice.
Steve brought 6 joints and 2 bottles of makers mark, Josh shat himself in the pool, and Amy blew me. Hope that extra 3 dollars an hour for working overnights is still worth it.
Idk I'm sorry it's weird to ask for testimonials on your penis
I refuse to believe this is a lapse in my dick hunting skills. It's gotta be the gods playing a game.
I tried to cut you?! I'm sorry! PS where's my hair?
I texted her mom a picture of us doing it saying "I'm trying to make your daughter just like you!" she was not amused.
Randomize
