ive had 594 apples! thats 99 apples 6 times! math!
Just soaked up some whiskey with a paper towel and then squeezed it into a cup for consumption. New low.
I'm totally counting that party when he kept putting his hands down my pants as a date.
will you please explain to me as to why or how i have a dirtbike tread looking bruise on my back?
I hid drinks in her bathroom closet.... like a squirrel... a squirrel who knew she was going to get cut off soon
She wanted to to do it on top of a horse, I can't compete with that
She's the drunk girl with the air-horn and sunflower seeds.
You're gonna judge me.
Howd you sleep with him already
yes i am an adult who snuck out of my parents house to cuddle with a guy and then came home and listened to taylor swift. judge me all you want.
Just dodged a state trooper, your weed will be there shortly. Fear the unbustable!
there is something very satisfying about getting tacos after hours of sex.
I don't know what's worse. The fact that my biological mother is an unwitting bigamist, or the fact that my half sister is trying to seduce my girlfriend.
I'm trying to behave my vagina this week so I can at least pretend I'm honoring the sanctity of marriage
I told him to not try to hang out with me ever again and now I regret it Bc im bleeding through my uterus and just want him to suck on my aching nipples
If he moved really quickly from "hi I've had a crush on you for years" to "send nudes" you probably were used.
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