what ever happened to devon sawa?
fuck...who knows?
i'm really worried about him.
how does Santa get into Hogwarts?
it was really awkward, he kept trying to get on the bed with us and we kept having to kick him back on the floor.
I asked you how much you drank and you replied with "I don't know what kind of toothpaste I use."
I think mom knows I'm drunk I put a full blown balloon in the fridge.
If I pissed all over some chicks bed I would probably apologize for getting so wasted, not putting out, and turning into a god damn R. Kelly Cinderella... Not ask for coffee and a ride home.
the dj asked me quote "are you sure you're sober enough to do this?" And I grabbed the mic from him and said "ill fucking show you sober- HIT IT". I also dropped the mic at the end so he had to come around and pick it up
Shania Twain would have been proud
When that wave blew your top off I heard someone yell "SPANK BANK"
As a former fat girl, that's probably the best compliment I've ever received ever!
I left myself a note saying 'buy a hamster but not an orange one like this pen'
omg so drunk
I DMed the cop that arrested me to come unlock my keys out if my car today
Yeah bc that's when u should take a Molly. At a house party with everyone from ur hometown
I JUST HAD TO SNORT THE REST OF MY BAG OF COKE BECAUSE THE BAG RIPPED IN THE WORK BATHROOM.
I'm guessing you feel amazing due to all the caps?
LETS GET THIS SHIT DONE. IM GONNA GET THIS SHIT DONE, FOREVER.
I told him that he could either pay the 10 dollars for the box of condoms or I'll make him pay for the diapers.
Actually I really wish that I was drinking so I could ask him for breakup sex and then later blame it on my alcoholic tendencies. Maybe tomorrow instead.
I could be doing way worse things besides texting him 'come over and bang my headache away'. i could be on meth
Randomize
