nah, shes just mad because we went through all her fb pics and tagged her crotch as all the guys shes fucked
im probably the most hungover person watchin icarly right now
i just recognized the girl sitting across from me from a lesbian porno... should i ask for an autograph?
We named our saturday intramural dodgeball team "we're hungover". Pretty much just an excuse to fuel my alcoholism on friday nights.
bouncer thought i was tryin to get the license plate numbers of strippers to stalk them. I had to go show him where I threw up to get back in.
Of course he wants me there for his birthday. If a girl offers you a blowjob for every year of your life, you're gonna want her to be there.
I can't wait for round whatever # we're on tonight.
But he made me breakfast and understands the fuck sleep fuck sleep necessities
after the shots you kept on yelling "this is for the dreamers"
I don't know what I'm more pleased with, the blowie last night or that fact that there's still 20 dollars in my wallet
I sent dad a photo of my graduation certificate from drug therapy class. It was his birthday so it seemed appropriate.
WAIT MOM THIS DOESNT NEED TO BE A FAMILY EVENT OK AARON DOESNT NEED TO BE AROUND FOR NIPPLEGATE 2014
Let's be honest, I've seen a decent amount of dicks in my life and very few of them have been worth all the trouble.
Bitch got stabbed in the eye. With a fork. Wait for it... At church. I was the only one at a party interested in her story. Only in the south
i'm not too sure if he's up to my expectations looks-wise, but in the penis department he exceeds ALL regulations.
Randomize