In a few years, 50 babies 50 states. Like it?
Five things that make you perfect. Go.
The skin of a dead hooker. The blood of the innocent. The soul of a kitten. The hat from cat in the hat. And sunglasses.
He drunk dialed T-Mobile at 3am and talked to them for 45 minutes and got his phone bill lowered from $80 to $60... Best drunk dial ever.
One fish gets drugged and suddenly I'm labeled a bad pet owner. This is so unfair.
this ms. usa coverage has sucessfully humbled every girl here. depressed fish in a leaky barrel. go!
What's the appropriate way to phrase "If you ever leave your wife give me a call. But we can still have sex periodically until then."??
Here's the level of my committment: I'm not participating in the Olympic opening ceremonies drinking game. THIS IS SERIOUS.
I'm covered in European cum. How's your day going?
That bar is one yeast infection away from total annihilation.
God fucking bless the man who invented the vibrator. Bless him and all his descendants. I think I saw the face of God tonight
Fingerblasting some girl on the deck tryna get her to fuck on a lifeboat
He said I could stop sending ass pics now and just say hello. I'm not sure if that means he's no longer interested, or that he's a gentleman??
Another guy on Tinder just asked about "the hotter girl" in my pictures. I fucking hate being your friend.
I am pants-free in the living room. This is liberating.
yeah i'm making him "thanks for letting me befriend your toilet" cookies. wanna help? i'm sure you'll be making new friends too.
Randomize
