I only kidnapped one of them. chill
she definitely has that "I'll bang you, but then I'll tell your girlfriend" look to her.
I took off my clothes and she wanted to have sex. But then she changed her mind. So we ended up fucking through her panties or something. I don't know it was weird.
Just found out I have to work new year's eve. It's like one final 'fuck you' from 2009.
i don't want you to think of me as your TA
He was passed out on the floor holding a beer can, rolled over switched hands and never spilled a drop. We need to practice.
Have you ever seen a porn where they were playing bluegrass in the background?
btw when he was trying to sleep i was apparently poking him in the face w my 'flipper' slurring random manatee facts
my favorite part of the night was when I was in the bathroom frantically trying to get my cat whiskers and nose off to make hooking up less awkward
there was a sad and surprising lack of "did strippers and blow" in that sentence
Confidence margaritas not a good idea. Just said foreskin in my presentation instead of foresight.
I have to date her. We need a place to stay when we go tailgating.
Given everything we have talked about, is it wrong to ask you to be faithful to me, despite still dating him?
thought a girl was checking me out today. took me like 5 minutes to realize it was a mannequin
drinking vodka out of a wine glass to feel a little bit classier about myself.
Randomize
